I need to hit more. I know my stand up has become so much better in the past year. I know I have the skill and capability to be a great stand up fighter. I am quicker now, I can kick, I can throw combos; but there is still that little voice from the past telling me to hard block so I do not get knocked out by my teammates.
I guess what that boils down to is trust. Like Pavlov proved: a behavior is learned through consequence. At one time, if I threw some punches and left myself vulnerable I would pay a price for it. So, my brain is hard wired to believe that if I make a mistake at practice I will pay for it.
I have become much better at trusting my teammates and knowing that my past is not my present. I do not "pay" for making mistakes at practice; rather, I learn from them. I have very good teachers and teammates. Yes, they do often teach me lessons, but it is never out of cruelty. I know that all of these people want to see me tap into my full potential and would like to see me achieve my goals.
So last week my lesson was "circle left." This weeks lesson is "trust fully in myself and my teammates." That means I better throw some combos :)